The "Why, I Oughta..." Page

The "Why, I Oughta..." page is a forum for griping, whining, and just pouting in general. Hey, this is my website and I can make the subject matters as petty and lame as I want! Besides, it's fun! Yes, I am a malcontent, ya want to make something of it? Ya want a piece of me? Do ya? Do ya? Why, I oughta...!

The first "Why, I Oughta" Award this month goes to all the women who apply makeup while driving their car to work everyday. Hey, Girlfriends! The rearview mirror was never intended to be your personal makeup mirror. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the car. Roll down your window and lean your head outside and use the sideview mirror. The natural sunlight will help you apply your makeup evenly and will help you see if you have any unsightly mascara smudges. Plus you can dry your nails at the same time. Sometimes I wonder how some people get through the day. Sheesh!

And in the spirit of equal time, The second "Why, I Oughta" Award this month goes to men everywhere who are incapable of taking a decent telephone message. Gentlemen, if you are going to answer a ringing phone, be prepared to pass along a forwarding message to an absent household member. If you can't do this by memory, then follow these steps to make your job a little easier:

Get a brand new,sharpened pencil. When the phone rings, pick up the brand new sharpened pencil and eat it quickly. You will then pass out from the imbalance of lead in your body and the answering machine can take the message while you lie peacefully on the floor. Problem Solved!

It always gives me a good feeling to know I have helped someone learn something that will open up their world a little. And that, truly, is what the "Why, I Oughta" page is really about. Sniff! Sometimes I am so deep.

More Depth Coming Soon...