More Advice From Suelene

Cuz Y'All Coodnt Git Enuf...Heers More Advis Frum SUELENE! (page 2)

Deer Suelene,

Whut in tarnashun is a peesee? Awl ah evur heer on teevee is "Git yerself a peesee". An' we dont evun have caybull (we just got us a regalur bull called Nubby on acownt a his nose is a little nub frum wen we hooked him up to the rong end uf the plow and he done tride ta push the durn thang--he aint the sharpest fork in the barn)! Anyhoos, gittin bak ta peesees...whut is them thangs, fer the luv a possum stew?

Cunfuzed az ushuel

Deer Confuzed,

Is that yew, Stucky Pickens? I no it iz, yew big ol hunk a stoopid! Yew bedder stop lukin fer eggscuses to rite me er Ahm goona send a posse out aftur yer sorry but. Ahl just huke me up a big ol' magnet an reel you in by that big ol' meddle plate in yer haid from yer unforchunit chikun in the combine axident of '90.

Evrbuddy nose thairs no such thang az a peesee--next thang you no yull be ritin' axing me bowt awtamatic terlets, soop thet cums in a kan, an, heers a gud un: lektrikul brooms thet suk up durt! Yew must be sippin frum Pappys still, Stucky, if yer thankin ol' Suelenes gon fall fer that! Now, kwit ritin with stoopid kwestyuns er theryll be trubble with a capitol T thet rimes with peesee that stands fer Pur Caca (Ah hait to uze provanitee but ahm tikked off fer shore)!

This here's a artist's rendrin' that luks a awful lot lahk thet hunk a stoopid whut goes by the name o' STUCKY PICKINS!!

That's it fer now.

Remembur...

Call 333-3333 (in a emerjensy, that is. Not fer a date er nuthin like that). An' Stucky, dont YOU evn THANK abowt callin' me fer nuthin, nohow, er you may 'xpereyens anothr unforchunit axsident!